Shattered Innocence
by leafs nation
Summary: She thought they would stick together and get through it; that Howe's was just another obstacle their group came across and that they'd overcome it just like any other time. What happens, then, when Carver manages to leave too much of an impact on Clementine? Written with Paradoxilla, The Rose of Hedylogos, Bubbles2k100, Clover123 and Aspect. Cover art by ml 2 ghost!
1. Intro

I kept my eyes closed as the moving truck drove forward. My fingers reached up to play with some loose string on my rope bindings, which were slowly scabbing my wrists with every move I made.

I could hear Carlos telling Sarah that they would be at Howe's soon. I tried to tune him out, not really in the mood to know that I'm about to walk into Carvers 'home'. How long have we been in here? Three, four hours? Something near that.

My arm accidently brushed on Nick's, who was sitting right by me. That caught his attention and he turned his head toward me. He gave me a look of concern and I just returned it with a smile. He was about to look away, but we hit a pretty decent sized bump in the road and the force was enough to slam my back hard against the trucks side.

"Shit," I quietly cursed as I grabbed the back of my head. I closed my eyes again, only tighter this time, to help bear the second's-long sting.

Nick reached out for the back of my head, having to do it with both hands since his wrists were bound together as well. I think the only one who didn't have bindings on was Kenny, who managed to get his off and was now sprawled across the floor, still unconscious from his escape attempt.

If one could call it that. He mostly just yelled at everyone and then got a face full of door when the truck had made a sudden stop.

"You alright?" Nick asked, his fingers entwined in my ebony locks.

I gave a slight nod, "My head is. I'm still not crazy about getting into Howe's."

"I don't think any of us are," he shrugged and moved his hands back down, "You're going to hate it there. I'm so sorry, Clementine."

"It's alright," I sighed and let my head rest against the wall. We were quiet for a moment, seeing as how he probably didn't know what to say. It didn't feel quite right to just leave it at that, so I smirked at him, "Getting into shit together is what assholes like us do!"

"Oh yeah?" he played along, a smile tugging his own lips, "And then the two assholes bravely walked into the depths of hell itself and some stuff happened, and they both walked out, laughing about how ugly Satan's brown coat was?"

I chuckled, "That sounds about right…"

"Can't we just settle on dying Luke's hair a funny color next time?" he faked a pleading voice.

"Yes!" I giggled a bit more, "Oh God, yes!"

He let out an amused breath himself, but a minute later he turned to me again, this time he looked serious, "Clem, we need to talk real quick. Howe's isn't safe and Carver makes it worse. Something could happen to one of us."

I took a quivering breath and cast my amber eyes to the floor. "I-I know," I admitted and he placed his hand on my shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze, but it didn't have the intended effect.

Suddenly, the truck gave a violent shake and Rebecca said in a monotone voice, "We're getting close." I looked at Nick with a look of trepidation and he tried to convince me with a smile, but it only made my stomach drop. Even Nick was scared.

The vehicle stopped completely, and the door was raised by Troy, Bonnie, and a woman that I didn't recognise. She was chubby, dark skinned and had a large black afro.

Troy ordered us to move, and all of us did, before Kenny was held back by Troy for getting his bindings off. We were led to a large shutter door, that when opened, revealed a large section of the shopping mall, which held very few occupants.

Obviously this place wasn't very popular.

There was a large dark skinned man sleeping on the floor and a chubby, Indian looking man, who was missing an arm. Troy, accompanied with an insult, shut the hangar door and the one-armed man turned around with a soft smile. "Reggie," Rebecca smiled and hugged him. Reggie, being a little overwhelmed by the sudden arrival of so many people, couldn't find anything to do but smile.

"Hey guys," he said with a slight lisp. I quickly walked over to Sarah, confused as Sarita and Kenny went up to introduce themselves to the new ally.

"Who's he?" I whispered to her. "That's Reggie; he was with us when we tried to escape," Sarah explained, without even setting eyes on me.

"What happened to him," I said, indicating to my arm, and Sarah looked down this time, with an expression of awkwardness. "When we escaped, he fell over...and we just kept running," Sarah admitted quietly, and I felt my insides knot uncomfortably. I absentmindedly began playing with her curly black hair as a distraction from the impending cruel treatment we were going to receive

Rebecca and Reggie took seats next to each other, talking about what happened since the group left and she kept apologizing. He would shake her apologies off and hold up his only hand to stop her from doing it again. Troy came by to take Carlos from the pen, having been needed for something and Sarah's soft objections went by unnoticed.

Nick gave me a nod before heading to a bed and Kenny was walking towards me. "That guy's an asshole," he deadpanned, pointing his thumb backwards to Reggie.

I rolled my eyes, "You just met him Kenny. It's been a long night, you got your face smashed in a door, and you haven't eaten. You're just cranky."

"Maybe," Kenny growled, clearly not amused but recognized that I might be right, "But man, fuck that guy."

I just smirked at him as he turned to glance at Reggie before turning back to me.

"Alright, so we need to find a way out," Kenny lowered his voice and spoke sharply, "We can probably-"

" _Kenny_ ," I interrupted, my voice fading away into a yawn, "We just got here. Let's sleep on it. We'll figure out a way. And remember, Luke's out there somewhere. He'll come for us."

He opened his mouth to say something, but I walked off and didn't give him the chance. I figured Nick was already asleep, so bugging him wasn't a real option right now. Instead, I just sat on the closest bed, if one could call it that, and decided to lay down.

I let out a sigh before closing my eyes. Ever so slowly, I drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Interrupted out of my slumber, I felt my side get kicked as my eyes forced themselves open. I almost forgot I was at Howe's and was about to reach out for a weapon, but the sight of Troy reminded me that I was not in the woods.

Troy just stared at me, giving my side another nudge. I stared back, squinting a bit to try and make myself look intimidating.

He just looked at me, uncertain of what to say, perhaps.

"Get up," he demanded, "Bill wants to have a word."

I didn't question what Carver could've possibly wanted, mainly since I'd find out in a second anyway. I lifted myself off the ground, wavering a bit when I stood up. Stretching out my aching, tired muscles and joints for a few brief moments, I walked toward where the rest of my group and Carver were.

He looked back at all of us, smiling at what he must've considered a job well done. Getting his girl and baby back with a new addition to the flock… How fun that had to have been for him.

"There's been increased walker activity by the walls, so be mindful when staying near them. The herds been moving closer, but that doesn't necessarily mean we'll be hit." Carver spoke, which ripped me from my thoughts and my attention stuck on him, "There are some folks who might be sore on what happened, and how things went."

"How'd you sleep?" Sarah leaned over and whispered to me. I jumped slightly, not expecting her to lean over and ask me anything. I tried to keep my eyes on Carver while responding.

"Pay attention, alright? We can talk later."

"Okay, cool," she smiled, "I just thought it was nice to finally-"

" **CARLOS!** " Carver interrupted, "You child seems to be in need of correction."

Being the protective (perhaps even a bit too much) parent that he was, Carlos gulped nervously before nodding his head; wanting to do whatever it took to get within the man's good graces. "R-right..." Carlos mumbled before turning to his unnerved daughter. "Sarah, apologize to Mr. Carver."

"Umm... s-sorry, sir..."

The grizzled man was about to mention something else, already looking displeased with how the day was starting off, until his stone-cold eyes landed on me. What the hell did he want? And why was he smirking as if he enjoyed this kind of cruel treatment? It was creeping me out to no end.

But what truly made my blood turn to ice was what he told me to do next.

"You... _Carley_ ," he mocked, clearly having seen through that lie when I talked to him back at the cabin, "I think your friend over here needs a little bit of a wake-up call. Why don't you deliver some swift justice? One good smack across the mouth for good measure."

Feeling the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand up at such a request, I could already see Carlos' teeth gritting as his good hand clenched into a tight fist. "Wait, what?!" I spluttered, looking back between Sarah and Carver as the rest of the group tried to figure out a way to prevent this from happening. "No! You... you can't make me hit her! It was my fault for speaking up! I - "

"Can it, girlie! This ain't up for debate!" Troy spat as he knocked me lightly on the back of the head with his gun. Kenny and Nick, with both of their tempers flaring like wildfire, looked just about ready to try and knock the two of them on their asses, but thankfully they seemed to have recognized the situation. We all knew who had the power along with who was in control around here.

Folding his arms over his fluffy, brown coat, Carver glowered at me before motioning his head back towards Sarah. "Do it," he commanded, "as hard as you can, got that? We need to get the message across: step out of line, and you get disciplined. This could be the first step that leads to disorder and complacency around here. Go ahead, Clementine."

Purposely ignoring the other captives, including a bald-headed man with a piece of his ear missing and some weirdo with a crew cut slinging soil bags up on the roof, I turned towards my friend hesitantly. If eyes could speak, I'd be telling her to duck and run for cover, but she would be too scared of Carver to even pay it any notice. Shakily, I reached my hand up and lightly tapped her across the cheek; making her flinch slightly but not enough to do any real damage.

 _SMACK!_

"YOU SON OF A - "

Onto my knees I fell as I gasped for air and coughed up saliva onto the cold, dirty pavement below; feeling my strength already beginning to wane as Nick was silenced by one threatening look courtesy of Tavia. It seems that Troy had hit me square in the back with his rifle, needing no word from his master in order to do so. What an asshole! I'd like to see him having to hurt one of his own friends in such a humiliating way!

"I'm not going to ask you again," Carver warned coldly as I was roughly lifted back onto my feet by the back of my shirt collar. "Discipline her right now, you got that? We can't have weakness or softness around here, or else this entire place will fall within days. Do I make myself clear?"

Still wheezing heavily, I reluctantly nodded as my back was forced straight and I came face to face with Sarah yet again. Here comes round two...

With no way out of this that won't end badly, I whispered for her to close her eyes and to take off her glasses so that nothing would break upon impact. I'm a lot younger than her, with Sarah being in the middle of her teenage years, but mentally I'm pretty sure that those differences could potentially be reversed.

"I'm sorry," I apologized in advance, and without any more indecisiveness I reached out and struck her right across the face; performing a second backhand maneuver out of instinct just to make sure.

The effect was almost immediate as she backed away from me and instantly ran towards her father, with the latter glaring daggers at me as I looked on in shock at what I had done. Clearly there was no need for a second swing, and I couldn't help but feel like a monster as Sarah's face started to go red from the pain.

"Now that's more like it," Carver praised, patting me on the shoulder and almost making me want to snap his fingers the same way that he had done to Carlos. "Let that be a lesson to you folks - if you all want to survive, which you will under my roof and protection, then you have to be cooperative. Anyone stepping out of line will be dealt with severely. Hell, maybe I'll even give the girl here a permanent position as Smack Master," he joked, snapping his fingers and whistling for everyone to get to their positions. "Tavia, take the kid out to the armory with Bonnie. Troy and I will file out the rest of the positions."

"Yes sir," she answered like a loyal servant. Not even a second later was I told to march through the docking bay at Howe's; sporting one last, longing glance at my friends who are still shaking off the surprise on their faces. "Keep on his good side if you don't want to get hurt," Tavia mentioned as we were out of earshot. "That's just my advice - make it easier on yourself."

I hadn't felt the hope draining away from me like this in a very long time.

* * *

 _AN: Hello all! So if you're wondering, yes, this is a five-person project between Paradoxilla, Rose, Meg, Clover and I. We're each going to take turns in pairs with writing the chapters in this, so for example, Rose and Meg could be writing a chapter, then Clover and I, then Paradoxilla and Meg, etc. We're all on the same page with this, so don't worry – it shouldn't get too confusing._

 _Also, we'd like to give a special thank you to Aspect of Unoriginal Thought, who said before that it was alright that we're using an idea that's pretty similar. We really appreciate it, and you guys should definitely check out his story, "Clementine's Betrayal", when you get a chance. It's definitely worth reading, so thanks again!_


	2. Apathy

The morning in the armory with Bonnie dragged on for a long time. I stayed quiet while she tried her best to get me to talk to her. I could be very stubborn when I wanted, and in the armory I wanted nothing more than to just sit and sulk on the chair next to the ammo crate. Bonnie knew something was wrong, but she only questioned me once. I gave her a mean stare that I think she understood, before going back to everyday questions.

"So how was your first night out in the yard?" Bonnie asked, clicking the bullets into their... magazines? I did the same thing, not looking up to answer the question. "I know the beds aren't the most comfortable in the world...and I know it might've been a little cold out there, but it was safe, and that's all that matters in the end." I could feel disgust inside of my stomach. I didn't understand how this woman could sit here on front of me and tell me these things after what I had experienced in my short time at Howe's. It was _not_ safe here. I knew that for a fact. I tried not to show my emotions on my face, but apparently my _'calm expression'_ wasn't as convincing as I thought it was. Bonnie noticed - her concerned eyes prying into my soul gave me that impression. I spent the rest of the session with my head bowed; my eyes away from the guard.

As the metal gate leading to the pen was pulled open with a loud scraping noise, I wondered why everyone was huddled around on the lawn chairs in the middle of the yard. They seemed to be having a pretty heated conversation. My curiosity was growing and my feet led me to stand beside the seat Nick was sitting in. He offered me a small smile, one that kept me calm, before I was guided to the seat next to him by a finger pointed its way. I stayed quiet, trying to avoid eye contact with the others. My palm still felt weird after the slap I delivered to Sarah earlier that day. Guilt ate away at me and I forced my head up to try and meet my friend's gaze. Instead I was met by Carlos' annoyed stare.

"Do you have nothing to say for yourself?" he scolded, making my guilt worse than before.

I shook my head. Carlos's frown became a scowl, "So you hit my daughter, and don't even want to apologize?"

With clenched fists, I leaned forwards in my chair, gritting my teeth as I did so. I wasn't going to let him treat me like this. "I didn't have a choice. You saw what they did to me! I was scared!" I wasn't that scared, but I knew these people would take a little sympathy in me if I admitted it to them first-hand. Carlos looked like he was about to speak again, but he shut his mouth and broke-off staring at me. I sat back and smirked at the small victory.

"I don't know what we're supposed to do, but that's definitely not it!" Rebecca snapped, rolling her eyes at Kenny who was set on getting her to agree to his plans.

"We'll never know if we don't try," he stated, raising a cocky eyebrow as he eyed everyone around him. When his gaze met mine, he noticeably perked up. "Clem, you agree, right? The sooner we get out of here, the better!" I wasn't sure if I should answer his question or not, but with every eye in my way, the answer soon became clear.

"I'd like to get out of here as soon as possible..." I said, noting the hatred in Rebecca's eyes as she looked at me. "Good! Does anyone have a foolproof plan? No? I didn't think so..." the bearded man mumbled the last of his sentence, being told off by Sarita who always seemed to have to put him in his place. I think she's a good influence on him, but I get the feeling it won't last long...

"I know a way we can to an advantage point."

Everyone's heads snapped in Jane's direction. This was the first thing she had ever said, and honestly, it sounded promising. "We can use the winch over here to boost someone small up onto the roof. Or we could manually boost someone big up, but they'd have a larger chance of being caught up there. I was thinking you, Clem." Hearing my name made my heart skip a beat. Why did I have to do everything?

"Whoa, wait a minute-" I tried to slow down her decision she tried to make for me, only to be ignored.

"No, this could be exactly what we need! If you can get up there, Clem, then you can tell us where the guards are, which rooms are where, if there's a lot of walkers past these walls... It's a great plan!" Kenny stood up with such power in his voice that Nick's disagreement was cut off before anyone could hear it. Rebecca stood up next, nodding her head slowly as she did so.

"You know what? That actually sounds like it might work!" she and Kenny never agreed on anything, so I knew there was no way I was getting out of this.

"What do you say, Clem? We need you to do this..." Kenny's hopeful eyes were breaking me down. I didn't want to do it, but I was already in trouble for what I had done earlier. I knew this would make up for it in some way.

"I...I guess-"

"No! I'll do it." Nick quickly shot down my chance at redemption and I couldn't help but send him an accusing glare as he stood up to take my place. "It's not safe to send a kid up there. What if she-"

"I'm not a kid, Nick." I reminded him, my neck bent back particularly far since the man was so tall next to me, "I can do it."

"I've got as much to make-up for as you do, kid. I almost shot you, and it's only fair that I'm the guy that has to do this." Nick had a look of pure determination as he stood over me. I couldn't think of anything to say back to him that would sway in his mind. Everyone else sat quietly as well. He walked off towards the winch and broken metal ladder. I got up and walked after him. I wasn't about to let him do this alone. "Well, is somebody going to give me a boost up this thing?" He asked as he stared up at the ladder.

"Nick wait." Kenny spoke up as he and everyone got out of their chairs and surrounded him.

"What?" He complained, his tone clearly not showing much along the lines of patience.

"Clementine is going too." The old fisherman stated. Nick turned to face him, a clear frown on his face. "You two can look out for one another while you're up there."

Nick opened his mouth as if to refuse but, having noticed the look on everyone's face, he shook his head, "Whatever..." Mike and Kenny took position on opposite sides of Nick.

"You ready for this?" Mike asked as he stood at Nick's right. Nick stared up at the ladder. Was he afraid of heights? He simply nodded; most likely ignoring his phobia. Kenny bent down and grabbed his left leg, Mike grabbed his right, and together they both slowly raised him up towards the ladder; grunting slightly as they did so. He looked as though he was about to lose his balance; I cringed slightly as I watched. He raised his hands up to the heavens before gripping the bottom of the ladder. I exhaled, relieved that there were no issues with him thus far. He instantly began pulling his way up, slightly shaking, clearly straining his arms until his legs reached the bottom rail.

"Good job, Nick," I praised him sarcastically.

"Yeah... thanks," he said before climbing onto the roof and looking down at the others. "Uhh... now what do I do?"

"Mind feeding us some of the rope?" Mike asked. Nick stared at the pile of rope awkwardly before gradually pulling it over the ledge, letting it fall down. The rope lowered until a metal hook swung down to meet the others. Mike grabbed the plain rope and turned his gaze down to me. "Ready, kid?" I nodded confidently before grabbing the rope and standing on the metal hook. Within a minute, I was just a few feet below Nick. He looked uneasy as he watched me ascend towards him. Once high enough, he pulled me up and over the top of the roof. I could have climbed over, but I suppose me falling on his face was a better alternative in his mind. I got to my feet and stared down at him, slightly frowning as he placed his hat back on his head before getting back to his feet.

"Uhh... sorry 'bout that," he apologized, scratching the back of his head. I raised a brow at him before walking off past the green-house towards where I believed the skylight would be located.

"Hey! Wait up!" he yelled to me as he ran up beside me. I turned and put my finger over my mouth, shushing him. How stupid was he? Does he not understand how dangerous this is? "Oh... sorry," he apologized, smiling.

"Luckily nobody heard that..." I assumed.

"Don't move!" a man called from the higher level of the roof behind us. I froze in place, do we run? Would it make a difference? My heart was pounding as I looked up at the large bearded man wearing a blue ball-cap and green shirt. He pointed his pistol at us as he phoned something in on his radio. I stared up at Nick. Nick noticed and returned a stare at me, fear clearly evident on his face.

"Shit! Fuck! What do we do?" he asked, desperation and panic in his voice. I didn't know what to do either, running wouldn't help; we were caught. Hopefully we could try to lie our way out of this. A moment later, Tavia came bursting through the door leading down into the warehouse, an assault rifle in her hands, pointed at the two of us. She gave us her typical expression; a look that said how much she resented us, or rather how she hated having to deal with us. Either way, I hated the way she looked at us.

Bonnie walked out after Tavia, appearing shocked and disappointed for one reason or another. She didn't point her rifle, instead she bowed her head in shame. Carver made his way out last, the look he gave us wasn't like what the others gave us; his brow narrow, his eyes piercing deep in our minds.

"I have to tell ya, I'm very disappointed with you two; especially Clementine." When he focused on me, I felt my throat sink deep into my chest. "Care to explain what you're doing up here this late?" he asked me, arching his back as he kept his arms crossed. I shivered at the sound of his raspy, cold voice. I stared up at him, unable to speak.

"She was hungry, and we were just trying to..."

Carver snapped up straight, staring at Nick menacingly. Nick looked like he was about to pass out. Carver let out a brief laugh before advancing towards Nick. I stepped in front of him, blocking the way and bumping my chin into his stomach. He paused and stared down at me. I looked back up and swallowed, clenched my fists and spoke,

"You can just take us back to the pen. I promise that this won't happen again-"

In the blink of an eye, I felt a sharp, familiar pain. Before I could process what happened, I found myself on the ground. Everything was blurry. I could hear the sounds of pounding as I tried my best to sit up, holding the left side of my face in pain. It was at this point that I realized my eye was watering. Carver was knelt down beside me; he was talking, but I couldn't make out what he was saying since my head was throbbing and my ears were ringing.

Just as I started to get used to the pain, I noticed Bonnie and Tavia dragging Nick away; his hat on the ground beside me. There was blood dripped along the roof around it; I suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline hit me. I rose from the ground and pounced onto Carver, scratching and punching at his face for a good ten seconds before his superior strength sent me flying onto my back. I looked up at him; his nose was bleeding and he appeared enraged. Bending down, he grabbed me from the back of my throat before raising me up off the ground. I coughed and tried kicking him, but to no avail. He turned and slammed me into the green-house door.

"Who do you think you are huh?! You stupid, little, BITCH!" he screamed right in my face, leaving only an inch of space between us. I felt his hands close off my windpipe; it felt like he was squeezing the life out of me. I felt my strength start to fade until I head Bonnie's voice.

"Bill! Stop it! She's had enough!" she yelled, pulling on Carver's arm. I felt his grip open before falling back to the ground and coughing. I rubbed my neck, trying to catch my breath. Bill was still struggling with Bonnie; I could see that above me. He managed to deal one firm stomp to my side before Bonnie managed to get him to stop. He turned to her and placed his finger in her face before yelling something I couldn't hear. Bonnie returned some words; she was clearly angry as well and was definitely giving him a piece of her mind.

I coughed and gagged over and over, thinking that I was going to puke. Carver walked off, still clearly heated from our confrontation. Bonnie crouched beside me after he left and began rubbing my side; I smacked her hand away. She appeared startled, yet patient. At this point I didn't want anything to do with any of them. "I'm real sorry, Clementine... Just let me help you. I wanna make sure you're not hurt too badly..."

Minutes later I found myself being escorted by Bonnie up the stairs; luckily I was alright, but I was more worried about Nick. When we entered the office I could see Nick slouched in a chair in the corner of the room; letting his upper body hang down. His hair was a mess, and from what I could tell there was some nasty bruising on the side of his face. "Nick!" I called. He didn't respond. He was either out cold, or was too weak to say anything.

"You see what those _'friends'_ of yours got you into? _'Oh, just send Clementine up so we don't have to!'_ Am I right? I'll bet you didn't even volunteer but, well here you are," he taunted me with a sinister smile. I didn't respond, I couldn't even keep looking at him; how could I? After what he did to me, and Nick... "Listen to me, I'm sorry for how things went out there. I really am. In fact, I plan to make it up to you. How would you and the others like to get out of the pen?" This caught my attention; was he bluffing? Or was he seriously going to let us all go? Just for smacking me and Nick around?

I turned and made eye contact with the man. He grinned, "That's more like it. Now, just to show you how worthless those friends of yours are, I'm going to send you out on a little task to retrieve something. If you don't come back, Nick and I are going to have to get a little bit better acquainted."

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, fearing to hear the malice in his response.

"I want you to catch a lurker and bring it back here."

I stood in silence for a couple of seconds, "A lurker?" I repeated.

"Or I could just..." Carver pulled out his revolver and aimed it at Nick.

"NO! Okay! I'll do it!" I told him, nearly lunging forward. He put away his revolver and crossed him arms, most likely feeling victorious. I hated this. I hated being told to do stupid things like this. Nobody ever does what I want.

Bonnie pulled on my arm, "Come on, Clementine. Lemme help you get started."

Bonnie led me back to the pen so I could retrieve my empty backpack that I had been given back for mostly no reason. They had taken all my things and left the reminder. Of course...

When I walked into the pen, every eye looked in my direction with surprise, quickly becoming concern, and then worry; for themselves no doubt.

"What did they do to you?!" Kenny gasped, jumping up from his seat and stumbling towards the gate.

Bonnie lifted her gun and aimed it at him, and I didn't try to stop her. Carver's words echoed in my head - _'I'll bet you didn't even volunteer, but, well here you are.'_ \- and for some reason, I understood what he was saying. They had just thrown me into that position which led to me being hit, beaten and vandalised by that mad-man who had Nick held captive...

"Stay away from her. She's just here to collect her things, then she's leaving." Bonnie explained, cocking her gun at Kenny until he raised his hands in surrender.

"What happened to her face?" Carlos spoke up, crossing his arms over his chest.

I made my way over to the bed that my bag sat beside, scoffing as I heard what Carlos had said. Since when did he care about me? Oh yeah, that's right. Never. "That's none of your business..." Again I found myself biting my tongue to stop any accusations from escaping my mouth. She was actually standing up for that psycho! I couldn't believe who I had gotten myself involved with. These people were all out of their minds. I was the only sane one left...

Once I had retrieved my purple, flowery material, I followed Bonnie out of the pen. What a surprise, not one of my 'friends' tried to stop them from sending me out to rally a walker onto the premises. Just silence as the gate was shut and I was marched to an exit. Bonnie handed me a rope, a knife and a large stick. I looked at the bag on my shoulder and gave her a confused glare.

"Why'd I get this? It's not like I can put the walker in it..." As I spoke, Bonnie had opened the bag and placed the knife and rope in it, zipping it shut again afterwards. I could've carried them in my hands; I'm not a baby...

"You might have to walk a little ways to find a walker, city mouse. I just want to make sure you're comfortable while you're gone."

"I'd be more comfortable staying here with Nick." I spat, stepping away from her while grasping the stick she had given me tightly. It took everything in me not to hit her with the damn thing. Bonnie's face portrayed pain, but I didn't care. I was just about to walk out when she placed a hand on my chest to stop me. "What?" I asked emotionlessly, forcing my eyes to look at her.

"Bill wants the lurker to still be kicking when it gets back here, so get a good one or you'll be sent back out. To force one to stay close to you, grab it from behind. Use the knife I gave you and cut its bottom and top jaw off, that way it won't be able to bite you. The rope's already tied, so just throw it over its head and let it slide down to its chest before tightening the rope with a swift pull. You got all that so far?" I nodded my head as I replayed her tips in my mind. The woman may have been quite stupid, and extremely non-trustworthy, but her tactics were good. Perfect, actually... "Good. The stick is to push the lurker back if it gets too close. Just because it has no teeth, don't mean it can't infect you. A scratch from one of them is just as bad as a bi-"

"I know how it works, Bonnie." I sighed, the feeling of belittlement overcoming me again. Everybody always underestimated me. Walter had his head screwed on the right way, too bad his kind nature just wasn't accepted in the world anymore.

I finally made my way outside, striding across the parking lot of Howe's and into the trees. So far, no walkers were in sight. In fact, it seemed too quiet... My mind kept wandering back to what Carver could possibly want with a walker. Did he want it to warn someone? Was he just sending me out in the hopes that I'd be eaten alive? These thoughts just made me hate the man even more. The group was so scared of him, claiming he was a _'bad man'_ , but they were no better than him. I wished I had never been found by Luke and Pete... Then I wouldn't have been in that mess. I'd have been out searching for Christa, or even better, I'd have found her and been traveling alone with her again.

A low growl broke me out of my train of thought and brought me back to reality. I spun to the left, and through the shrubbery I saw an old, rotting body limping around lifelessly. It had its back to me, a good position since Bonnie's plan could only be carried out from behind the beast. I quickly swung my bag in front of me and pulled out my knife and rope. Looking at both the items, I threw the knife back into the bag and placed it on the ground as silently as I could. I would tie it up first, and then cut its mouth. I tiptoed up behind it, luckily without it noticing me, and lifted the hope up as high as its head. In one quick movement, I placed the rope over the walker's head and down to its mid stomach before taking a huge step back. Pulling on the longer piece of tacky material, I tightened the 'leash' around my victorious find. I was extra proud of myself since I managed to pin the dead man's arms by his sides too.

The walker turned to look at me, growling as it did so. I had the advantage since it had no arms to use against me, and I easily obtained the knife from my bag and approached it face on. I stabbed my blade into its jaw, before pulling back forcefully and practically cutting off half his face. A large gaping hole where the walkers mouth used to be now dripped dark, black goo; which I assumed was blood that had gone bad a long time ago. I didn't need to stick to keep him at bay. He was a slow walker, one with no arms to scratch me, and no mouth to bite. I decided he was probably the least threatening thing - PERSON - I had come across all day.

"Let's go, Steve..." I smirked to myself as I named my newest friend. This one wouldn't betray me; he couldn't even if he wanted to. His gurgling somewhat calmed me, which at first I found weird, but then came to accept. Steve was slowing me down, and at first, as much as I wanted to put him out of his misery, I knew I couldn't do that. I was determined to save Nick. So I took my time walking, making sure that Steve was still doing good so I wouldn't have to go back out and find his other friends...

The hardware store came back into view up ahead and I voiced my thoughts not caring if anyone or anything heard, "Thank fuck..." A swear escaping my mouth wasn't surprising anymore. The world had changed me, and it wasn't as if anyone was expecting me to stay innocent forever. The only one making that mistake was Carlos. Sarah would be gone soon, as bad as that was to admit. I just knew it...

When I approached the door Bonnie instantly opened it, greeting me with a relieved smile. I just stared back at her, frowning as I handed over the rope. Bonnie looked at Steve in disgust before walking inside; leading him past me. I just patted his back as he walked by and then followed them indoors.

I was confused as to where we were bringing my dead friend, but soon I realised. Carver was waiting outside the pen, an evil grin on his smug face. I still didn't know what was going on, but I knew it wasn't good. It had something to do with the group, and I couldn't have cared less in that moment.

"Well done, Clementine," the gravelly voiced man praised me, but I just scowled at him and lowered my gaze to the floor. "Don't you want to watch, Clementine?" His next question caught my attention, but I quickly lost interest as I thought more about what was happening. I shook my head, hearing the gate get shut as Steve was released into the yard. "Fine. Have it your way."

"Whoa, what's going on? Is that a fucking lurker?!"

My head snapped up and grabbed onto the gate, looking inside with wide teary eyes.

"Nick!"


	3. It's all your fault

"No, no, no, you can't! Stop this, it'll kill him!" I pleaded, grasping onto Carver's coat tightly as I tried to find any small amount of sympathy within his stone-cold eyes. Finding nothing but a smug look, I slammed my fists into his stomach three times before angrily turning back towards the gate; wrapping my fingers around the small opening in the frame as I tried my hand at ripping it to shreds.

But alas, nothing I attempted had any effect whatsoever. I couldn't even put a dent in the door.

"Nick! You have to get out of there!" I bellowed through the little opening that I could actually talk to him through. The guy had his hands full, though, and it showed. Clearly unprepared for something like this to happen, and still looking incredibly beaten and woozy, Nick had just stumbled out of the bed when he had heard the growls of Steve.

Fighting tooth and nail just to survive, I ended up respecting Nick a lot more than I had before. He was certainly putting up one hell of a fight.

With Steve's jaw completely ripped off thanks to me, Nick did have at least a bit of a fighting chance, but the problem was that Carver and Troy always made sure there were no weapons or tools anywhere inside the pen. In other words, Nick was basically alone and forced to use his fists in order to try and punch the guy to death. He was doing fairly well, too; managing to get in a few good hits to the walker's head as the bones in his fists started to bleed and bruise. From what I could see, his knuckles were turning a sickly mix of yellow, purple and red, and on his face I noticed all of the physical pain that this was putting him through.

" _Huff… huff…"_ he breathed heavily, looking over at me for a split second and wondering why the hell I wasn't trying to step in and help him out at all. I couldn't do a damn thing, though – I didn't have a key to unlock the pen gate, and I likely wouldn't have been strong enough to lift something like that by myself anyways.

It was all up to Nick, and he was starting to lose energy fast.

Steve, being a walker and somehow being able to keep on attacking without really getting tired, was lunging at the man with a thirst for blood. The monster had latched its hands onto Nick's arms, which fortunately were still covered by his shirt sleeves, but the material was fairly thin and could be easily ripped. Steve growled like crazy as Nick tried a different tactic – swinging the walker so that his head might hit the side of the wooden bed frame.

He got in a few good whacks, sending some black ooze from the walker to land on the wood as I saw Carver tense up for a moment, but unfortunately for Nick, he wasn't exactly the most stable on his feet. Tripping over a lawn chair, the guy looked terrified as he fell onto his back and knocked the back of his head on the concrete floor.

I could barely force myself to watch as the walker sprang on top of him and grabbed onto Nick's shirt.

" _NICK! NOOOOO!"_

Digging its dirty, disgusting fingernails into Nick's stomach, he let out a shriek of terrible pain and suffering as he was torn into like a piñata. Blood and intestines were spread all over the floor as his head fell backwards; with the walker unable to chew on his organs without teeth and instead resorting to sucking them down its throat like a straw. The man's eyes were still fixed on me as I felt my knees start to wobble.

Nick… one of the only real, true friends that I had left in one of the worst places on Earth… was dead.

"Looks like your good pal Nick wasn't as strong as he thought he was," Carver mentioned, opening the gate back up as I sank to the floor. There was no way in hell that I was going to wander over towards the body. "Hmph… would you look at this mess? Gonna take forever for somebody to clean all this shit up," he muttered before taking out his pistol, gunning the walker down and placing the weapon back in his pocket. "Clementine, get over here. I need you to see for yourself where this idiot went wrong."

With everyone else wandering throughout the hardware store working on various tasks, and Rebecca being held up in Carver's office for _'safe keeping'_ , nobody but I was around to witness this go down. Nobody could see that Bill had meant for me to bring this walker back to the camp, only to find out that the whole thing was just a set up for my friend's death.

And now he expected me to just act like everything was completely normal?!

"…you're a murderer…" I told him darkly, feeling my tiny fists clench as I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier. Naturally, Carver didn't change his stance. "This… this is all your fault! You did this! You killed my friend! You can try and call it something else, but I know what it is! What it _really_ is!"

Saying nothing for a few seconds, Carver suddenly chuckled in his gravelly voice as he shook his head. "Look at the evidence here, Clementine. It seems pretty clear to me," he explained, standing up and dragging the walker away by the armpits; leaving a trail of blood on the concrete as he ordered me to help him carry the legs. With no way in hell that I'll be able to take him on alone, I had no choice but to do what he said. "This ain't no murder, and you really shouldn't beat yourself up over bringing him in there. Nick showed to us that he wasn't capable of surviving out in a world like this. He proved that today."

This asshole was getting under my skin, and I could feel my teeth clenching as I shook with every step. Bonnie had noticed us carrying the body back outside, but like the weak, little coward that she was, the red-head said absolutely nothing and kept her head down. Troy was about to yell at me for slacking off, but the minute that he saw Bill walking out with me from his spot up on top of the roof, he too zipped his mouth shut.

I couldn't have been responsible for this… No, there's no way! I didn't have a choice here, and besides, how would I have been able to see something like this coming? I thought that Nick was still up in Carver's office the entire time with Rebecca! I thought… I thought I was helping our group get out of the pen…

"You… you lied to me!" I accused, dropping my end of the corpse as Bill was forced to carry the dead weight alone out into the front parking lot.

Knowing exactly what it is I was talking about, once again Carver shook his head as he rolled the body out a little bit. "I was straight up and honest with you the entire time," he mentioned before wiping the grime off on his jeans as he turned back to face me with a grin. "Your group is one step closer to getting out of the pen. I'm a man of my word, Clementine, which is why I'd like to offer you a position inside. Might be a little… _cozier_ for ya."

Confused, angry and still sad all at the same time, I tried to wrap my head around what it is he was telling me. Was I about to become a permanent, full-time member of his camp? Didn't he literally just catch me and Nick not even a full day ago trying to break into places that we weren't supposed to go?

"…why?"

Thinking the question over for a little while, Carver placed a hand on my back that I didn't even dare to try and shake off. I certainly didn't want another hit to the face or anywhere else, and even though I was pissed off enough to try and hurt the man, I knew deep down that this could've been a big opportunity. Not just for me, but for our whole group – even though most of them were a bunch of morons.

"You're not like those other idiots in the pen. You're loyal, and you've got a pretty good head on your shoulders. I want to give you the opportunity to take the next steps," he remarked, whistling for Troy to wrap up his shift as he lead me back into the docking bay. "A storm's on the way…" he said, confusing me only for a small moment until I figured out what he was trying to tell me. "That herd is inching closer and closer to us every single day, and I want you to help me out. Convince your _friends_ that breaking out of this place is the wrong way to go – that's your assignment. We can't have troublemakers fucking around inside of our home and risking everything that we've worked so hard for."

As much as I hated to admit it, the terrible man had a point. I had noticed when I was climbing that ladder the other night that there was a huge group of walkers just wandering outside – they were pretty far away from what I could tell, but it was enough to frighten me into questioning our plan. Lee and I may have been able to go through a bunch of the dead ones by ourselves, but that was nothing compared to the massive number of walkers around here.

Shuddering as we passed by the pen, spotting Nick's dark red hat now caked in blood, I watched as Carver started to wander over to the stairs leading up to his office – not before taking one last second to look back at me, however.

"So," he pointedly said, "can I count on you to get this done?"

With only a little hesitation after seeing what this guy could be capable of, I sniffled a little bit before gradually nodding my head.

Smirking, Carver patted me on the shoulder lightly. He must've been so happy that his newest pet was cooperating with him so nicely. Asshole…

"This'll be a good thing for our people, Clem. I can guarantee it," he stated, making my skin crawl as he suddenly referred to everyone as _our_ people. "You're having dinner with us, tonight. It's about time that we formally induct you into the fold. Welcome to Howe's, Clementine – you're one of us, now."

* * *

I'm not sure how long I was sitting on the cold, wooden bed; but soon my fellow survivors poured into the yard. I could hear their footsteps against the cement and some light chatter among some of them. It was probably just Sarah babbling some kind of nonsense to Rebecca, but I couldn't find it in me to care at that moment.

I stayed in the position I was in. My back was hunched over so that my crossed arms could press against my midsection. I bit my bottom lip to help keep it from trembling, but it didn't work very well. I was afraid to blink because of the unshed tears in my eyes. I don't even want to think of what Carver might do if he found out I was crying. I'm sure I was shaking a bit from trying to hold my sobs in and just the general surprise of what happened.

I could hear someone walking towards me and saw some shoes through my bleary vision.

"Clementine...?"

I refused to look up. I knew I must've looked pitiful. Ratty hair underneath my hat, cheeks dirty with blood and sweat, and dry, chapped lips. I felt my hand clench into a fist just by thinking about it. I don't need to be pitied!

"Clem?" A hand went under my chin to lift my head up, and I just didn't care enough to move it away. I looked up to see Luke, who was gazing back down in concern, "What's wrong?"

My eyes dashed over to where the death took place. One of Carver's guys had come along and cleaned up the body. All that was left to prove it had happened were the blood splatters on the ground. Luke noticed and look back, clearly confused.

I couldn't help it now. Involuntarily, the first of my tears streamed down my cheeks, wiping some dirt of with it. My breathing came out as a weak cry and my hand my hand reached up to grab onto Luke's forearm.

"It's... Nick," I said when I finally found my voice. I see why Carver did this to me. It was hard to tell them. I felt a mixture of grief and anger ball up into my chest. Mostly anger. Another tear fell down to my jaw, which was now as clenched as my fists and my grip on Luke became a little tighter, "Carver did this."

"Nick?" Luke whispered, his voice cracking a bit in hurt.

I let go of him and pushed his hand away from me. I rose to my feet and stormed forward.

"I'm going to kill him!" I declared, another tear leaving my eyes, but more out of anger rather than sorrow. I felt an odd satisfaction fill me when I said those words. I didn't care who heard me, and I didn't care if I got punished for it later, but I loved hearing the words roll out of my mouth and echo into the nearby air, "I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!"

As I passed Kenny he lightly pushed my shoulder to stop my marching. I shot him a look, doing my best to seem intimidating. I must've been doing something right, because he looked like he was choosing his next choice of words very carefully.

"Clementine, just calm down for a minute," he said.

"Calm down?!" I spat. My voice was rising up, but I didn't care. I didn't care if my throat exploded. My thirst for Carvers blood was too great, "Nick is dead! The man I looked to as a brother is dead and you expect me to calm down?!"

"Clementine, stop!" Luke yelled back over to me. His stance was comparable to a very confused child who didn't know what to do about something, "Nick's not dead! Just take a moment and breathe!"

"He's. Dead," I somehow managed to spit out as I turned my upper body to face him, "I saw him. He was... torn apart. He was just standing there one second and the next his body was..."

Kenny moved to pull my body into a hug. A hug which I refused and did everything in my power to not just drop into a puddle of my own tears. I hesitantly glanced back up at Luke, who now had unshed tears of his own. He took a couple steps back. Probably trying to either process what happened or was taken back by discovery. He looked around, and this time looked at the blood splatters. It was like he now understood exactly what happened here.

"N-Nick?" Luke managed to choke out through his wail and peeked back at me. I could hear him take a deep, scratchy breathe before he went on, "He's... gone?"

Nodding my head as I almost forgot Kenny was still holding me against my will, I witnessed Luke having a race of emotions floating across his face, almost as if he couldn't handle everything that was going on inside of him. At first, he seemed to just be shocked into silence beyond belief, but even I got a little worried when his shock turned into a small chuckle; eventually erupting into a fit of laughs as he held his gut. Upon looking over at me, he just giggled even harder as he turned on his heel and shook his head.

"C-c'mon, Clem," he chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye as Rebecca and Carlos looked at each other in worry over Luke's behaviour. "You've had your fun, and I've gotta say that you got me pretty good there with the whole _fake death_ thing. But quit screwing around, he's probably still up in the office! Right, guys? …guys?"

"Luke…" Carlos trailed off, standing up and deciding that now would be the best time to intervene. Why couldn't he have said something five minutes ago?! "I think… I think we all need to sit down and talk this through…"

We could all tell that our supposed _leader_ was going through a stage of denial, which I guess I could understand, seeing's how the two of them were best friends and all. But from my point of view, none of these people really gave a rat's ass about Nick… Constantly attacking him for the things he did, the sometimes stupid decisions he'd make… But did any one of these pricks ever stop to try and talk him through it? Did any of them care? No, of course not! So to see them acting all upset like this really just made me roll my eyes. It was almost like they were crying over spilled milk – Nick's death didn't affect these people at all!

After finally managing to slip away from Kenny's grasp, I hovered near the gate as Luke's hands started to shake. After seeing everyone acting so seriously about the news, it seems that the reality had finally sunken in. He finally accepted that Nick was gone forever.

Casting his eyes back over to the blood splatter again, he sank to his knees and fell quiet. For a moment, nobody dared to try and talk – Sarah was getting consoled by Rebecca as Sarita sat in the lawn chair beside her with her hands folded up. Mike had heard bits and pieces of the conversation and had just showed up to look around, while Reggie couldn't find it within himself to crack a lame joke or anything to try and lighten the mood – thank god. That weird girl was still keeping to herself over by the far wall, occasionally lifting her head up to see what was going on, but I couldn't care less about what she had to say.

"N-Nick…" Luke broke down, having found his friend's blood-soaked hat laying underneath his bed. Carver's people must not have picked it up after tossing him away like old trash. Clutching the beak in his hands, Luke gripped it so tightly that I thought he was going to snap it in half.

What stunned me more, however, was when he finally looked up again over at me of all people; with his eyes filled with anger as I took a small step backwards.

"…how did he die?" he growled, standing up to full height as I tried to hold my own. "Tell me, Clementine. Right now. Was it… was it Carver? Did he beat him to death?"

Gulping, I actually felt a little intimidated with the way that he was looking at me, but what was worse were the frightened looks that everyone else was giving me as well. It's almost as if they were all waiting for the little kid to admit to them that she did something wrong, and that I was going to get punished for it afterwards.

Shaking my head, however, I frowned deeply before giving them all my side of the story – not that any of them really cared to hear it. As far as I was concerned, all they took my answers for were excuses.

"Carver told me… I could get out of the pen – _all_ of us, if I did something special for him…" I admitted while rubbing my arm in discomfort. "He said if I went outside the walls, caught a walker and brought it back here, then we'd be one step closer to getting out. He… he brought the monster in here, and didn't tell me that Nick was still sleeping…"

Gasps and surprised looks were tossed around like wildfire at this discovery, with Carlos muttering something about not trusting me and Luke looking as if his head was about to explode. Something told me that I wasn't about to win any favours within the group today.

"You brought a…" Luke cut himself off, as if his brain couldn't understand what was going through his ears. "How… how could you have been so stupid, Clementine?! How could you have possibly thought that that was a good idea?! You've known that asshole long enough to know that he'd lie about letting us back in! And you suddenly believed him?!"

I felt pissed off – pissed off and shocked that he would say something like that to me. How the hell was I supposed to know that Nick was still in the pen at the time?!

"You weren't there! None of you _ever_ were! It wasn't my fault!"

"You think that you know what's best for us, Clementine, but you don't, okay? You don't! You're just a little kid! Nick was my best friend… and you let him _die_ …" he accused, getting an angry look from Kenny as we were all interrupted by a low chuckle from the other side of the pen door.

Standing there with a machine gun in his hands was Troy of all people, who apparently had been listening in on the whole thing and had heard nearly every word. "You people ain't got one shred of respect for each other, do ya? Turnin' on one another at the first sign of trouble," he _tsk_ ed, looking all smug as he opened the shutters and motioned for everyone except for me to keep back.

"What do you want?" I asked bitterly, not in the mood for his bullshit after everything that was going down in here.

Pointing out back with his thumb, Troy shoved me backwards without a care in the world as he briefly explained why I alone was exiting the pen. "Boss wants you to come an' eat with us… says you're one of the _crew_ now," he stated bitterly, purposely saying it loud enough to try and get a rise out of the rest of my group. I could see now why he was doing this – to try and convince them that I only brought that walker in so that I alone could get on Carver's good side, without caring about anyone else.

The reality couldn't have been further from the truth, but judging by the looks on some of their faces as I was forced to walk away, they didn't really see it any other way.

In their eyes, I had just betrayed them. In their eyes, Nick was dead because of me.


End file.
